Do You Get These Jokes in English

Do You Get These Jokes in English.

 Understanding jokes in a foreign language is one of the hardest — and most advanced — skills in language learning.
Why? Because jokes depend on culture, timing, wordplay, and hidden meanings. If you can truly understand jokes in English, it means your comprehension is reaching a high level of fluency.
In this fun and engaging episode of Mind Life In English, host Profe Lao challenges you to listen carefully and see if you can understand a variety of English jokes, expressions, and humorous situations.
🎙️ In this episode, you will:
• Listen to different types of English jokes and humor
• Learn how wordplay and double meanings work
• Understand why some jokes are difficult for learners
• Improve your listening and comprehension skills
• Discover cultural elements behind English humor
This episode is perfect for:
Intermediate and advanced English learners
Listeners who want to understand real-life English humor
Anyone who wants to test their English in a fun way
Learners looking to improve listening through entertainment
😂 Fun Insight:
If you can understand jokes in English without translation, you’re not just learning the language — you’re thinking in English.
🎧 So, are you ready? Press play and find out:
Do you really get these jokes in English?

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hello all. Come on, come all. Come in. Settle down. Settle down. Everybody sit down at your desk. Everybody, pay attention, look at me. This is important. I don't know. It's a fun video though. We're gonna have fun. I made a video like this before telling you jokes in English, like dad jokes, you know, jokes that your dad says, you know, jokes that are like maybe a little funny, but mostly just stupid, right? Stupid jokes, dumb jokes. That's what we're gonna do today. You guys really like that video, so I'm gonna do another one. I'm back with another one. Before we begin, I just gotta tell you, like always, I offer conversation classes. The link is in the comments and on my profile. If you ever want to take a conversation class with me, you can. I am available and I'd love to talk to you as long as you can have a basic conversation in English. All right, let's keep going with the video. Let's continue. Actually, let's start it because I haven't even really started it. So all right, so remember, I am going to be explaining these jokes. Not because I'm trying to be boring, annoying that person that has to explain a joke, but because this is an English teaching video. I'm teaching you English through English jokes. So I'm explaining the joke. One, in case you didn't understand, and two, so that you can learn things about English via the jokes, through the jokes. All right, that's the whole point of this. So I don't want to see anybody in the comments. Why do you gotta explain the jokes? That's the whole point of the video. If you don't like it, I don't know what to tell you. This isn't the video for you. Okay, next, why did I just say next? Like I'm gonna say next one. I didn't even start. Okay, now we're gonna start. Starting now. Okay. So first one. I told my Wi-Fi we needed to talk. Now it's not connecting. So the Wi-Fi doesn't turn on because it doesn't want to talk to you. That's not funny. Next one. I tried to eat a clock once. It was very time consuming. So this is an expression in English we say time consuming. So something that that takes a lot of your time is um is time consuming, right? It consumes your time, right? It to edit videos it it's time consuming. It's very time consuming to edit videos. That's why I don't really edit them that much. I just film them and post them essentially. No, I edit a little bit, but not not much. Because it's very time consuming. And so, but in this joke, it says I tried to eat a clock. A clock, but it was it was time consuming because it's a clock. You get okay. Um I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don't know why. So in case you didn't know, there's 26 letters of the English alphabet. So they're saying I only know 25. So all except one letter. They know all the letters except one letter. I don't know why. So we have Y, the word Y, W H Y, like, I don't know why. I don't know why. And then we have the letter Y, Y, the letter X, Y, Z, you know. So I don't know the letter Y. I don't know why. Yeah, okay. Next one. Um, I told my computer I needed a break. It said no problem and froze. I don't get it. Did the the computer broke or the computer just uh froze because you need a break? I I don't get that's stupid. Okay, next one. Parallel lines have so much in common. It's a shame they'll never meet. Parallel lines, parallel lines, they have so much in common, it's a shame they'll never meet. Right? Because they're parallel. Okay. I I I warned you, like I told you what kind of jokes these are. I told you, you know, I don't want to see anybody in the comments talk about that's not funny because that's that's what I told you it was gonna be. All right, next one. I used to play piano by ear. Now I use my hands. Okay, so you can say that you know something by ear, like you know like that song by ear, or you can play uh an instrument by ear just by listening to it. You listen to it, you listen to a song, and you can just play, you don't have to read the music, you just listen to it and you play it, right? Or you on the guitar or whatever. So uh I used to play the piano by ear, now I use my hands. So it's it's literally like I used to do it with my ear, and now I do it with my hands. But you get it. I I don't think I need to explain these that much more. I think okay. I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went. Then it dawned on me. Okay, so when the sun, when the sun, I combined the word sun and dawn, I said sawn. When the sun comes up in the morning, we call that the dawn, right? At it I'll I'll meet you at dawn. It's like I'll I'll find you when the sun first comes up. The dawn is when the sun is first, first coming up. So it says, I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went. So all night, where did the sun go? And then it dawned on me. So literally, the dawn of the sun happened, but also we use this expression, it dawned on me to say like I realized or I um I remembered or I I thought of something, you know. I i it's like I realized. You can say, like, I I couldn't remember where I put my keys, and then it dawned on me I had left them in my car or whatever, I don't know, somewhere. So this is an expression. It dawned on me. It's like it it kind of makes sense. If you think about the sun coming up and it like dawn, you know, it arrives. Hello, it's dawn. It's the same thing with like a thought in your head. It dawned like it showed up. It hello. Okay, you get it? Next one. It it hello, you get it? Okay, next one. Um, I tried to start a professional hide and seek league, but good players are hard to find. Okay, hide and seek. Hide and seek is a game that we played a lot when we were kids. Uh there's one person who counts and closes their eyes, and the other person, the other people, they hide, and then that person has to, and when they're done counting, they have to try to find all the people that are hiding. Hide and seek. Probably a lot uh most cultures have a game like this, they just have a different name. Um so I tried to start a professional hide-and-seek league, like a group of people that play this, like professionally, but good players are hard to find, yeah. Because the best the how you win the game is by having the best hiding spot so that no one can find you. So the best players of that game are hard to find. But it's like I tried to start a league, but I couldn't find people to join the league because they're hard to find. Yeah, I sometimes I overexplain, but just want you to get it because I like that one. Next one. My boss told me to have a good day, so I went home. That's let's let's give a round of applause. Let's give a round of applause for that for that one. That was a good one. Yeah. My boss told me to have a good day, so I went home. I don't need to explain that. Work and good day, not compatible. Next one. I used to be addicted to soap, but I'm clean now. All right, so when uh we were addicted to drugs, but we stop using the drugs and we become sober, like when we get sober. Sober is like when you're not under any drugs, under the influence, you're not using any drugs, you're sober. Um, so a lot of times when people used to use drugs, but then they stopped using drugs, they say, I'm clean now. Like, you know, I used to be uh I used to be addicted to heroin, but I'm clean now. I don't know. That's just an example. Okay, I was never addicted to heroin, but um, but if I were, I mean, no shame. I mean, you know, life life is you know you don't know. We don't know what people's situations are. Okay, anyways. Um, but yeah, we used to s we use like clean to talk about being uh drug free. So they're saying I used to eat soap, but I'm clean now, and it's funny because it's soap, right? To clean. Next one. I told my suitcase there would be no vacations this year. Now I'm dealing with emotional baggage. Oh, I already read this one in another video. Yeah. Uh, because emotional baggage sometimes is a phrase we use to refer to like emotional trauma and stuff that you carry with you, but baggage is also a word to describe luggage or suitcases, so it's like a double meaning. I I already did that in one video, so you should already know that one if you watch my videos, but yeah. Next one. Why did the bicycle fall over? It was too tired. Okay, the bicycle fell over because it was too tired, like I'm I'm tired, but also the bike has two tires, so it's too tired. But but that's not really what we say to describe a bicycle having two tires. We don't normally say it's too tired, we say it has two tires. But it's a joke because it's too tired, it fell over. Get it. Okay. Next one. I asked my dog, what's two minus two? He said nothing. So the dog said nothing because it's a dog, number one, number two, or he's a dog. I don't like to say it. The dog said nothing because he or she is a dog, but also it's funny because two minus two is zero, which is nothing. So the dog was correct by saying nothing. I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day. Okay, so this is one of the ones that like native speakers get because of our English knowledge, but if you're not a native speaker, you might not guess. Get it. So shoes typically have laces. Laces are what we refer to, those strings on shoes to tie them, right? You tie your laces. You have some sneakers, some shoes, and you tie the laces. You lace them up. Um, but also if something is laced with a drug, it means it has it in it, right? Look, like, oh, I bought some brownies that were laced with cannabis. Not that I don't know if that's like I don't think we would say we probably would use it with more hard drugs. I don't know. Honestly, it's not a super common thing, but native speakers know that you can use lace to refer to drug content in something, like it was laced with a particular drug, it had the drug in it. I don't really have a good example for you. Like I said, it's not super common, but it exists, and so it's funny because the shoe has laces. So you bought the shoes from the drug dealer and the shoes were laced with something, but also they literally had laces. Do you understand? Okay. Let me know if you understand. Okay. Why did the stadium get hot after the game? All the fans left. Ah, okay. Yeah, a lot of people don't know this before they learn English that fan, fan is like to refer to like fans of of music or you know, an artist or whatever. Like, I'm a fan of I don't know Britney Spears. I'm a fan who said the first person that popped into my head. I'm a fan of Beyoncé. I don't know, like whatever. I'm a fan, right? I'm not really, but I don't really listen to that music that much. Um, or at all, really. I'm I'm a fan of um this kind of music or this this kind of movie or whatever. You know what that meaning is, a fan, right? But a fan is also the thing that spins that keeps you cool when it's hot. So you have two different kinds of fans, and they're both super commonly used, but they have two different meanings. So so why was the stadium why did the stadium get hot after the game? All the fans left. So when the game ended, all the fans in the stadium they left. So all the people who are fans of the sport, but also all of the fans, they left. So that it got hot. Okay. Next one. I used to work at a calendar factory. I got fired for taking a couple days off. I like that one. So uh so when you take a couple days off from work, take off time from work, you are like not going to work those days. You're going on vacation or you're just relaxing at home or whatever. So I wanna I'm gonna take a week off from work. So take time off from work. This is a common phrase. This is important to know. Take time off from work. But also, they said they worked at a calendar factory, so they make calendars, you know, with all the days of the month. So they got fired from their job because they took a couple days off the calendar. You're not supposed to do that. You can't do that. Okay, next one. Why can't your nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot. All right, so in the United States measuring system, we use inches and we use feet, unfortunately. I wish we used meters and centimeters, but you know, the United States is stuck in its ways. So they use inches and feet, and twelve inches equals one foot. So your nose cannot be twelve inches long because then it wouldn't be your nose anymore. It would be a foot. All right, enough said. I ordered a chicken and an egg online. I'll let you know which comes first. It's the age-old question. Which comes first, the chicken or the egg? Right? We use this in philosophical debates, we use this in life in a lot of ways just to express like maybe we don't know what is the initial cause of something, like we don't know what started it. You know, sometimes two things are kind of causing each other or dependent on each other, or like they're both cause and effect of each other. So sometimes we ask, like, what came first, the chicken or the egg, um, to refer to other situations where what can came what came first is not super clear. So um it's just joking about that. I I ordered a a chicken and an egg, and I'll tell you which one comes. By the way, I don't think that we should be ordering animals online. That's insane. Animals are not objects. Thank you. Next one. I just burned 2,000 calories. I forgot the pizza in the oven. Okay. So we often say that we burned calories if we are doing exercise or you know, doing something that um like uses calories basically from our food. So, you know, you go for a run, you say, I burned calories. That's the common way that we say it. But they left the pizza in the oven, uh, so the pizza burnt. It's like the pizza got burnt, we say. The pizza got burnt, uh, it it burned because it was left in the oven. Uh, and the pizza was basically 2,000 calories, I guess. So I just burned 2,000 calories because I left the pizza in the oven. I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.

unknown 14:20

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 14:20

You know, gravity keeps keeps us all down and not floating around. So you can't put the book down because, you know, anti it's about anti-gravity. It's defying gravity. These jokes are so stupid. I'm sorry. I I didn't make them. I didn't make these jokes. Okay, I just looked them up. I didn't make them. All right. So, like, don't come for me. I'm sorry. I I don't know what to tell you. I told my plants a joke. They needed some time to laugh. Okay, so these are the type of jokes that you're not gonna get unless you are looking at the joke, you're reading it. If you you're not gonna you're not gonna get it if you're just listening to it. I wouldn't have gotten it, I wouldn't have understood. So time, um, we we know T-I-M-E, time, you know, three o'clock, one, two, three. We know time. But there is a plant that we call time, but it's spelled T-H-Y-M-E, but it's pronounced time. Same, the same thing. It's a plant, it's an herb. We use it sometimes to season food. Sometimes. Not like one of the most common, but it we use it. So it says, I told my plants a joke, they needed some time to laugh. So uh they needed some time to laugh, but also some some time, like the plant. This is such a thing. I think the I think they're getting worse. I think the jokes are getting worse as I go. I'm really nervous to read the next one. I think it's gonna be even worse. Uh I used to be afraid of hurdles, but I got over it. Okay, so a hurdle is um it's like well, it could be like metaphorically, it could be like just an obstacle in life. But literally, a hurdle is like something that runners will jump over. You know, you see people running on a track like professionally, and they have hurdles that they have to jump over. Um, so I used to be afraid of hurdles, but I got over it. We have this expression to get over something, it's like to overcome it, it's like to deal with it, and it's no longer an issue for you, you know, to to literally like you have a hurdle and you go over it. You go hurdle, go over it, then it's not a problem anymore. So we use this in a literal sense, but also we use this in a figurative sense, we use this in a metaphorical sense. Sometimes in life we have hurdles or we have obstacles, and we have to get over them. So, so like I am getting over a breakup, you know, we broke up with someone and now I'm getting over it. Like it's a hurdle in life. I'm getting over it. Next one. I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it. I think I've heard that from some uncle before. So seafood is what we call food that comes from the sea, comes from the ocean. Um, but it's usually referred to just like animals from the ocean, like not um, we usually don't refer to seaweed as seafood, even though it technically is food that comes from the ocean. We usually just refer to the animals that come from the ocean, um, which I do not consume as a vegan, but I can still explain the joke that seafood is like food that comes from the sea, but um we also have sea, like I see. So I see food and I eat it, I eat seafood. You got it? There's two different uh meanings of sea. See, this is why English is really good for making jokes like this, because we have a lot of homophones, a lot of homophones. So we have a lot of words that sound exactly the same, but they have different meanings. That's why it's really good to make puns or these kinds of jokes in English, because yeah, so many homophones like C and the C, you know, same thing. Well, different things, but same sound. Okay, the last one. Why did the cookie go to the hospital? It felt crummy. Okay, so sometimes when people feel bad, they say I feel crummy, but also in this case it's a cookie, and cookies produce crumbs. So the little pieces of cookie, the little particles of cookie that fall off, we call them crumbs. Little pieces are crumbs. So you eat a cookie and you got little crumbs on the on the plate or whatever on the on the table. So the cookie also feels crummy, like bad, but also it has crumbs. Alright, that was it. Um I'm looking out the window right now and I am watching someone running backwards, walking and running backwards. I don't know what that's all about, but that's funny. Now that's funnier than all the jokes that I just gave you. All right, love ya. See you in the next one. Remember, take a conversation class with me and have an excellent day.